Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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