A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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womens rights.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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