How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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