There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Oh, go away

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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