How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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