How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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0 1 this is a sad sad world.

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Lil Wayne

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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