Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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