A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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kathryn atkins

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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