A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops