Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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dat shoe shine tho

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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