Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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The New York Giants

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops