A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How old is victor? Half past dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I have an idea! You leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops