What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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