How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

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poo

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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