A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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