Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops