What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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An anti-joke

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Indians

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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