A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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