Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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