Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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silver bullet?

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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