Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

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42

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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