Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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AND

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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