What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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roses are red poo is poo

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops