your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

I put my baby in a microwave.

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

Lindsay Lohan

Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

What's 1+1? 69.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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