My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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