what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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