What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops