Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...