Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Error 37.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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i hate non minorities!

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Gay rights.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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