A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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