Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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