I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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