whats bloop with an m? matthew

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Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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