What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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