Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops