What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops