- Anti Joke

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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