I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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