How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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AND

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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