A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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