Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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