What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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