What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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i'm hard

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops