Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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