What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

Women's rights

What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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