Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Frontbut-

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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