What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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YOU

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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AND

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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