Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Yes

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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