Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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