roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

Justin beiber comment if u get it

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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