Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Praise Paisley

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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every cloud has a silver lining

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops