How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops