Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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