Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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