My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

whats brown and sticky? Doody

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

A guy at a baseball game....

What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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