Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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school homewrok

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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guess what? bannanas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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