What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops