What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops