Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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