Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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