No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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girls basketball

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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