A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Chuck Norris.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Pickles

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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