Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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