Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

Knock Knock the door's open, come in

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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