Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops